Feelings are our biofeedback system, calling attention to our deeper needs and values. How many feelings do you have? What are your feelings telling you? Feelings refer to inner experiences or emotions, which are connected to needs. When needs are met, we experience pleasurable feelings such as content, happy, thrilled, engaged, or peaceful. When needs are unmet, we experience painful feelings such as upset, sad, fearful, or frustrated.
Feelings are expressed most simply when we use just three words.
“I feel sad.” “I feel worried.” “I feel excited.”
Thoughts can be disguised as feelings:
The following statements express what we think, about ourselves or others,
in disguise as statements about how we feel. It would be more accurate to
say “I think…” than “I feel…”
“I feel that you’re mean.” (I think that you’re mean.)
“I feel like I don’t matter.” (I think I don’t matter.)
“I feel it’s not right.” (I think it’s not right.)
These phrases use the word feel but actually express thoughts:
feel as if…
feel that you (or he or she or they)…
These words are commonly used with the phrase “I feel” but are actually evaluations or interpretations of what we think someone is doing to us: abandoned, accepted, attacked, blamed, betrayed, cornered, criticized, dissed, dumped on, ignored, insulted, intimidated, invalidated, left out, let down, manipulated, misunderstood, neglected, patronized, pressured, put down, rejected, ripped off, smothered, threatened, tricked, unheard, unimportant, unseen and used.
Check it out for yourself: Study a list of feelings... Click Here..
Listen to yourself when you say the words, “I feel...”. Do you hear a feeling or emotion? Do you hear a thought or analysis? Listen to others with the same questions.